Saturday, December 24, 2011

Bears Discover Fire by Terry Bisson


I was driving with my brother, the preacher, and my nephew, the preacher's son, on I-65 just north of Bowling Green when we got a flat. It was Sunday night and we had been to visit Mother at the Home.


We were in my car. The flat caused what you might call knowing groans since, as the old-fashioned one in my family (so they tell me), I fix my own tires, and my brother is always telling me to get radials and quit buying old tires.

But if you know how to mount and fix tires yourself, you can pick them up for almost nothing.

Since it was a left rear tire, I pulled over to the left, onto the median grass. The way my Caddy stumbled to a stop, I figured the tire was ruined. "I guess there's no need asking if you have any of that FlatFix in the trunk,'' said Wallace.

"Here, son, hold the light," I said to Wallace Jr. He's old enough to want to help and not old enough (yet) to think he knows it all. If I'd married and had kids, he's the kind I'd have wanted.

An old Caddy has a big trunk that tends to fill up like a shed. Mine's a '56. Wallace was wearing his Sunday shirt, so he didn't offer to help while I pulled magazines, fishing tackle, a wooden tool box, some old clothes, a come-along wrapped in a grass sack, and a tobacco sprayer out of the way, looking for my jack. The spare looked a little soft.

The light went out. "Shake it, son," I said.

It went back on. The bumper jack was long gone, but I carry a little quarter-ton hydraulic. I found it under Mother's old Southern Livings, 1978-1986. I had been meaning to drop them at the dump. If Wallace hadn't been along, I'd have let Wallace Jr. position the jack under the axle, but I got on my knees and did it myself. There's nothing wrong with a boy learning to change a tire. Even if you're not going to fix and mount them, you're still going to have to change a few in this life. The light went off again before I had the wheel off the ground. I was surprised at how dark the night was already. It was late October and beginning to get cool. "Shake it again, son," I said.

It went back on but it was weak. Flickery.

"With radials you just don't have flats," Wallace explained in that voice he uses when he's talking to a number of people at once; in this case, Wallace Jr. and myself. "And even when you do, you just squirt them with this stuff called FlatFix and you just drive on. Three ninety-five the can."

"Uncle Bobby can fix a tire hisself," said Wallace Jr., out of loyalty, I presume.

" Himself," I said from halfway under the car. If it was up to Wallace, the boy would talk like what Mother used to call "a helot from the gorges of the mountains." But drive on radials.

"Shake that light again," I said. It was about gone. I spun the lugs off into the hubcap and pulled the wheel. The tire had blown out along the sidewall. "Won't be fixing this one," I said. Not that I cared. I have a pile as tall as a man out by the barn.

The light went out again, then came back better than ever as I was fitting the spare over the lugs.

"Much better," I said. There was a flood of dim orange flickery light. But when I turned to find the lug nuts, I was surprised to see that the flashlight the boy was holding was dead. The light was coming from two bears at the edge of the trees, holding torches. They were big, three-hundred-pounders, standing about five feet tall. Wallace Jr. and his father had seen them and were standing perfectly still. It's best not to alarm bears.

I fished the lug nuts out of the hubcap and spun them on. I usually like to put a little oil on them, but this time I let it go. I reached under the car and let the jack down and pulled it out. I was relieved to see that the spare was high enough to drive on. I put the jack and the lug wrench and the flat into the trunk.

Instead of replacing the hubcap, I put it in there too. All this time, the bears never made a move. They just held the torches, whether out of curiosity or helpfulness, there was no way of knowing. It looked like there may have been more bears behind them, in the trees.

Opening three doors at once, we got into the car and drove off. Wallace was the first to speak.

"Looks like bears have discovered fire," he said.

When we first took Mother to the Home almost four years (forty-seven months) ago, she told Wallace and me she was ready to die. "Don't worry about me, boys," she whispered, pulling us both down so the nurse wouldn't hear. "I've drove a million miles and I'm ready to pass over to the other shore. I won't have long to linger here." She drove a consolidated school bus for thirty-nine years. Later, after Wallace left, she told me about her dream. A bunch of doctors were sitting around in a circle discussing her case. One said, "We've done all we can for her, boys, let's let her go." They all turned their hands up and smiled. When she didn't die that fall she seemed disappointed, though as spring came she forgot about it, as old people will.

In addition to taking Wallace and Wallace Jr. to see Mother on Sunday nights, I go myself on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I usually find her sitting in front of the TV, even though she doesn't watch it.

The nurses keep it on all the time. They say the old folks like the flickering. It soothes them down.

"What's this I hear about bears discovering fire?" she said on Tuesday.

"It's true," I told her as I combed her long white hair with the shell comb Wallace had brought her from Florida. Monday there had been a story in the Louisville Courier-Journal, and Tuesday one on NBC or CBS Nightly News. People were seeing bears all over the state, and in Virginia as well. They had quit hibernating, and were apparently planning to spend the winter in the medians of the interstates.

There have always been bears in the mountains of Virginia, but not here in western Kentucky, not for almost a hundred years. The last one was killed when Mother was a girl. The theory in the Courier-Journal was that they were following I-65 down from the forests of Michigan and Canada, but one old man from Allen County (interviewed on nationwide TV) said that there had always been a few bears left back in the hills, and they had come out to join the others now that they had discovered fire.

"They don't hibernate anymore," I said. "They make a fire and keep it going all winter."

"I declare," Mother said. "What'll they think of next!" The nurse came to take her tobacco away, which is the signal for bedtime.

Every October, Wallace Jr. stays with me while his parents go to camp. I realize how backward that sounds, but there it is. My brother is a Minister (House of the Righteous Way, Reformed) but he makes two thirds of his living in real estate. He and Elizabeth go to a Christian Success Retreat in South Carolina, where people from all over the country practice selling things to one another. I know what it's like not because they've ever bothered to tell me, but because I've seen the Revolving Equity Success Plan ads late at night on TV.

The school bus let Wallace Jr. off at my house on Wednesday, the day they left. The boy doesn't have to pack much of a bag when he stays with me. He has his own room here. As the eldest of our family, I hung on to the old home place near Smiths Grove. It's getting run-down, but Wallace Jr. and I don't mind. He has his own room in Bowling Green, too, but since Wallace and Elizabeth move to a different house every three months (part of the Plan), he keeps his .22 and his comics, the stuff that's important to a boy his age, in his room here at the home place. It's the room his dad and I used to share.

Wallace Jr. is twelve. I found him sitting on the back porch that overlooks the interstate when I got home from work. I sell crop insurance.

After I changed clothes I showed him how to break the bead on a tire two ways, with a hammer, and by backing a car over it. Like making sorghum, fixing tires by hand is a dying art. The boy caught on fast, though. "Tomorrow I'll show you how to mount your tire with the hammer and a tire iron," I said.

"What I wish is I could see the bears," he said. He was looking across the field to I-65, where the northbound lanes cut off the corner of our field. From the house at night, sometimes the traffic sounds like a waterfall.

"Can't see their fire in the daytime," I said. "But wait till tonight."

That night CBS or NBC (I forget which is which) did a special on the bears, which were becoming a story of nationwide interest. They were seen in Kentucky, West Virginia, Missouri, Illinois (southern), and, of course, Virginia. There have always been bears in Virginia. Some characters there were even talking about hunting them. A scientist said they were heading into the states where there is some snow but not too much, and where there is enough timber in the medians for firewood. He had gone in with a video camera, but his shots were just blurry figures sitting around a fire. Another scientist said the bears were attracted by the berries on a new bush that grew only in the medians of the interstates. He claimed this berry was the first new species in recent history, brought about by the mixing of seeds along the highway. He ate one on TV, making a face, and called it a "newberry." A climatic ecologist said that the warm winters (there was no snow last winter in Nashville, and only one flurry in Louisville) had changed the bears' hibernation cycle, and now they were able to remember things from year to year. "Bears may have discovered fire centuries ago," he said, "but forgot it." Another theory was that they had discovered (or remembered) fire when Yellowstone burned, several years ago.

The TV showed more guys talking about bears than it showed bears, and Wallace Jr. and I lost interest. After the supper dishes were done I took the boy out behind the house and down to our fence.

Across the interstate and through the trees, we could see the light of the bears' fire. Wallace Jr. wanted to go back to the house and get his .22 and go shoot one, and I explained why that would be wrong.

"Besides," I said, "a twenty-two wouldn't do much more to a bear than make it mad.

"Besides," I added, "it's illegal to hunt in the medians."

The only trick to mounting a tire by hand, once you have beaten or pried it onto the rim, is setting the bead. You do this by setting the tire upright, sitting on it, and bouncing it up and down between your legs while the air goes in. When the bead sets on the rim, it makes a satisfying "pop." On Thursday, I kept Wallace Jr. home from school and showed him how to do this until he got it right. Then we climbed our fence and crossed the field to get a look at the bears.

In northern Virginia, according to Good Morning America, the bears were keeping their fires going all day long. Here in western Kentucky, though, it was still warm for late October and they only stayed around the fires at night. Where they went and what they did in the daytime, I don't know. Maybe they were watching from the newberry bushes as Wallace Jr. and I climbed the government fence and crossed the northbound lanes. I carried an axe and Wallace Jr. brought his .22, not because he wanted to kill a bear but because a boy likes to carry some kind of a gun. The median was all tangled with brush and vines under the maples, oaks, and sycamores. Even though we were only a hundred yards from the house, I had never been there, and neither had anyone else that I knew of. It was like a created country.

We found a path in the center and followed it down across a slow, short stream that flowed out of one grate and into another. The tracks in the gray mud were the first bear signs we saw. There was a musty, but not really unpleasant smell. In a clearing under a big hollow beech, where the fire had been, we found nothing but ashes. Logs were drawn up in a rough circle and the smell was stronger. I stirred the ashes and found enough coals to start a new flame, so I banked them back the way they had been left.

I cut a little firewood and stacked it to one side, just to be neighborly.

Maybe the bears were watching us from the bushes even then. There's no way to know. I tasted one of the newberries and spit it out. It was so sweet it was sour, just the sort of thing you would imagine a bear would like.

That evening after supper I asked Wallace Jr. if he might want to go with me to visit Mother. I wasn't surprised when he said yes. Kids have more consideration than folks give them credit for. We found her sitting on the concrete front porch of the Home, watching the cars go by on I-65. The nurse said she had been agitated all day. I wasn't surprised by that, either. Every fall as the leaves change, she gets restless, maybe the word is "hopeful," again. I brought her into the dayroom and combed her long white hair.

"Nothing but bears on TV anymore," the nurse complained, flipping the channels. Wallace Jr. picked up the remote after the nurse left, and we watched a CBS or NBC Special Report about some hunters in Virginia who had gotten their houses torched. The TV interviewed a hunter and his wife whose $117,500

Shenandoah Valley home had burned. She blamed the bears. He didn't blame the bears, but he was suing for compensation from the state since he had a valid hunting license. The state hunting commissioner came on and said that possession of a hunting license didn't prohibit ("enjoin," I think, was the word he used) the hunted from striking back. I thought that was a pretty liberal view for a state commissioner. Of course, he had a vested interest in not paying off. I'm not a hunter myself.

"Don't bother coming on Sunday," Mother told Wallace Jr. with a wink. "I've drove a million miles and I've got one hand on the gate." I'm used to her saying stuff like that, especially in the fall, but I was afraid it would upset the boy. In fact, he looked worried after we left and I asked him what was wrong.

"How could she have drove a million miles?" he asked. She had told him forty-eight miles a day for thirty-nine years, and he had worked it out on his calculator to be 336,960 miles.

"Have driven," I said. "And it's forty-eight in the morning and forty-eight in the afternoon. Plus there were the football trips. Plus, old folks exaggerate a little." Mother was the first woman school-bus driver in the state. She did it every day and raised a family, too. Dad just farmed.

I usually get off the interstate at Smiths Grove, but that night I drove north all the way to Horse Cave and doubled back so Wallace Jr. and I could see the bears' fires. There were not as many as you would think from the TV—one every six or seven miles, hidden back in a clump of trees or under a rocky ledge. Probably they look for water as well as wood. Wallace Jr. wanted to stop, but it's against the law to stop on the interstate and I was afraid the state police would run us off.

There was a card from Wallace in the mailbox. He and Elizabeth were doing fine and having a wonderful time. Not a word about Wallace Jr., but the boy didn't seem to mind. Like most kids his age, he doesn't really enjoy going places with his parents.

On Saturday afternoon the Home called my office (Burley Belt Drought & Hail) and left word that Mother was gone. I was on the road. I work Saturdays. It's the only day a lot of part-time farmers are home. My heart literally missed a beat when I called in and got the message, but only a beat. I had long been prepared. "It's a blessing," I said when I got the nurse on the phone.

"You don't understand," the nurse said. "Not passed away, gone. Ran away, gone. Your mother has escaped." Mother had gone through the door at the end of the corridor when no one was looking, wedging the door with her comb and taking a bedspread which belonged to the Home. What about her tobacco? I asked. It was gone. That was a sure sign she was planning to stay away. I was in Franklin, and it took me less than an hour to get to the Home on I-65. The nurse told me that Mother had been acting more and more confused lately. Of course they are going to say that. We looked around the grounds, which is only a half acre with no trees between the interstate and a soybean field. Then they had me leave a message at the sheriffs office. I would have to keep paying for her care until she was officially listed as Missing, which would be Monday.

It was dark by the time I got back to the house, and Wallace Jr. was fixing supper. This just involves opening a few cans, already selected and grouped together with a rubber band. I told him his grandmother had gone, and he nodded, saying, "She told us she would be." I called Florida and left a message. There was nothing more to be done. I sat down and tried to watch TV, but there was nothing on. Then, I looked out the back door, and saw the firelight twinkling through the trees across the northbound lane of I-65, and realized I just might know where to find her.

It was definitely getting colder, so I got my jacket. I told the boy to wait by the phone in case the sheriff called, but when I looked back, halfway across the field, there he was behind me. He didn't have a jacket. I let him catch up. He was carrying his .22 and I made him leave it leaning against our fence. It was harder climbing the government fence in the dark, at my age, than it had been in the daylight. I am sixty-one. The highway was busy with cars heading south and trucks heading north.

Crossing the shoulder, I got my pants cuffs wet on the long grass, already wet with dew. It is actually bluegrass.

The first few feet into the trees it was pitch-black and the boy grabbed my hand. Then it got lighter.

At first I thought it was the moon, but it was the high beams shining like moonlight into the treetops, allowing Wallace Jr. and me to pick our way through the brush. We soon found the path and its familiar bear smell.

I was wary of approaching the bears at night. If we stayed on the path we might run into one in the dark, but if we went through the bushes we might be seen as intruders. I wondered if maybe we shouldn't have brought the gun.

We stayed on the path. The light seemed to drip down from the canopy of the woods like rain. The going was easy, especially if we didn't try to look at the path but let our feet find their own way.

Then through the trees I saw their fire.

The fire was mostly of sycamore and beech branches, the kind that puts out very little heat or light and lots of smoke. The bears hadn't learned the ins and outs of wood yet. They did okay at tending it, though. A large cinnamon-brown northern-looking bear was poking the fire with a stick, adding a branch now and then from a pile at his side. The others sat around in a loose circle on the logs. Most were smaller black or honey bears, one was a mother with cubs. Some were eating berries from a hubcap.

Not eating, but just watching the fire, my mother sat among them with the bedspread from the Home around her shoulders.

If the bears noticed us, they didn't let on. Mother patted a spot right next to her on the log and I sat down. A bear moved over to let Wallace Jr. sit on her other side.

The bear smell is rank but not unpleasant, once you get used to it. It's not like a barn smell, but wilder. I leaned over to whisper something to Mother and she shook her head. It would be rude to whisper around these creatures that don't possess the power of speech, she let me know without speaking. Wallace Jr. was silent too. Mother shared the bedspread with us and we sat for what seemed hours, looking into the fire.

The big bear tended the fire, breaking up the dry branches by holding one end and stepping on them, like people do. He was good at keeping it going at the same level. Another bear poked the fire from time to time but the others left it alone. It looked like only a few of the bears knew how to use fire, and were carrying the others along. But isn't that how it is with everything? Every once in a while, a smaller bear walked into the circle of firelight with an armload of wood and dropped it onto the pile. Median wood has a silvery cast, like driftwood.

Wallace Jr. isn't fidgety like a lot of kids. I found it pleasant to sit and stare into the fire. I took a little piece of Mother's Red Man, though I don't generally chew. It was no different from visiting her at the Home, only more interesting, because of the bears. There were about eight or ten of them. Inside the fire itself, things weren't so dull, either: little dramas were being played out as fiery chambers were created and then destroyed in a crashing of sparks. My imagination ran wild. I looked around the circle at the bears and wondered what they saw. Some had their eyes closed. Though they were gathered together, their spirits still seemed solitary, as if each bear was sitting alone in front of its own fire.

The hubcap came around and we all took some newberries. I don't know about Mother, but I just pretended to eat mine. Wallace Jr. made a face and spit his out. When he went to sleep, I wrapped the bedspread around all three of us. It was getting colder and we were not provided, like the bears, with fur. I was ready to go home, but not Mother. She pointed up toward the canopy of trees, where a light was spreading, and then pointed to herself. Did she think it was angels approaching from on high? It was only the high beams of some southbound truck, but she seemed mighty pleased. Holding her hand, I felt it grow colder and colder in mine.

Wallace Jr. woke me up by tapping on my knee. It was past dawn, and his grandmother had died sitting on the log between us. The fire was banked up and the bears were gone and someone was crashing straight through the woods, ignoring the path. It was Wallace. Two state troopers were right behind him. He was wearing a white shirt, and I realized it was Sunday morning. Underneath his sadness on learning of Mother's death, he looked peeved.

The troopers were sniffing the air and nodding. The bear smell was still strong. Wallace and I wrapped Mother in the bedspread and started with her body back out to the highway. The troopers stayed behind and scattered the bears' fire ashes and flung their firewood away into the bushes. It seemed a petty thing to do. They were like bears themselves, each one solitary in his own uniform.

There was Wallace's Olds 98 on the median, with its radial tires looking squashed on the grass. In front of it there was a police car with a trooper standing beside it, and behind it a funeral home hearse, also an Olds 98.

"First report we've had of them bothering old folks," the trooper said to Wallace.

"That's not hardly what happened at all," I said, but nobody asked me to explain. They have their own procedures. Two men in suits got out of the hearse and opened the rear door. That to me was the point at which Mother departed this life. After we put her in, I put my arms around the boy. He was shivering even though it wasn't that cold. Sometimes death will do that, especially at dawn, with the police around and the grass wet, even when it comes as a friend.

We stood for a minute watching the cars and trucks pass. "It's a blessing," Wallace said. It's surprising how much traffic there is at 6:22 A.M.

That afternoon, I went back to the median and cut a little firewood to replace what the troopers had flung away. I could see the fire through the trees that night.

I went back two nights later, after the funeral. The fire was going and it was the same bunch of bears, as far as I could tell. I sat around with them a while but it seemed to make them nervous, so I went home.

I had taken a handful of newberries from the hubcap, and on Sunday I went with the boy and arranged them on Mother's grave. I tried again, but it's no use, you can't eat them.

Unless you're a bear.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

One Friday Morning by Langston Hughes

One Friday Morning" was written by Langston Hughes, a noted Kansas author. It was published in 1952. Langston Hughes lived in Kansas during a part of his life and attended schools in Topeka and Lawrence. At that time, most African Americans attended segregated schools, but there were a few integrated schools in which blacks were enrolled. The custom of referring to African Americans by the terms "Negro" and "colored" was prevalent in 1952, and that custom is reflected in the story.

The thrilling news did not come directly to Nancy Lee, but it came in little
indirections that finally added themselves up to one tremendous fact: she
had won the prize! But being a calm and quiet young lady, she did not say
anything, although the whole high school buzzed with rumors, guesses,
reportedly authentic announcements on the part of students who had no right
to be making announcements at all - since no student really knew yet who had
won this year's art scholarship.

But Nancy Lee's drawing was so good, her lines so sure, her colors so bright
and harmonious, that certainly no other student in the senior art class at
George Washington High was thought to have very much of a chance. Yet you
never could tell. Last year nobody had expected Joe Williams to win the
Artist Club scholarship with that funny modernistic water color he had done
of the high-level bridge. In fact, it was hard to make out there was a
bridge until you had looked at the picture a long time. Still, Joe Williams
got the prize, was feted by the community's leading painters, club women,
and society folks at a big banquet at the Park-Rose Hotel, and was now an
award student at the Art School - the city's only art school.

Nancy Lee Johnson was a colored girl, a few years out of the South. But
seldom did her high-school classmates think of her as colored. She was
smart, pretty and brown, and fitted in well with the life of the school. She
stood high in scholarship, played a swell game of basketball, had taken part
in the senior musical in a soft, velvety voice, and had never seemed to
intrude or stand out except in pleasant ways so it was seldom even mentioned
- her color.

Nancy Lee sometimes forgot she was colored herself. She liked her classmates
and her school. Particularly she like her art teacher, Miss Dietrich, the
tall red-haired woman who taught her law and order in doing things; and the
beauty of working step by step until a job is done; a picture finished; a
design created; or a block print carved out of nothing but an idea and a
smooth square of linoleum, inked, proofs made, and finally put down on paper
- clean, sharp, beautiful, individual, unlike any other in the world, thus
making the paper have a meaning nobody else could give it except Nancy Lee.

That was the wonderful thing about true creation. You made something nobody
else on earth could make - but you.

Miss Dietrich was the kind of teacher who brought out the best in her
students - but their own best, not anybody else's copied best. For anybody
else's best, great though it might be, even Michelangelo's, wasn't enough to
please Miss Dietrich dealing with the creative impulses of young men and
women living in an American city in the Middle West, and being American.

Nancy Lee was proud of being American, a Negro American with blood out of
Africa a long time ago, too many generations back to count. But her parents
had taught her the beauties of Africa, its strength, its song, its mighty
rivers, its early smelting of iron, its building of pyramids, and its
ancient and important civilizations. And Miss Dietrich had discovered for
her the sharp and humorous lines of African sculpture, Benin, Congo,
Makonde. Nancy Lee's father was a mail carrier, her mother a social worker
in a city settlement house. Both parents had been to Negro colleges in the
South. And her mother had gotten a further degree in social work from a
Northern university. Her parents were, like most Americans, simple ordinary
people who had worked hard and steadily for their education. Now they were
trying to make it easier for Nancy Lee to achieve learning than it had been
for them. They would be very happy when they heard of the award to their
daughter - yet Nancy did not tell them. To surprise them would be better.
Besides, there had been a promise.

Casually one day, Miss Dietrich asked Nancy Lee what color frame she thought
would be best on her picture. That had been the first inkling.

"Blue," Nancy Lee said. Although the picture had been entered in the Artist
Club contest a month ago, Nancy Lee did not hesitate in her choice of color
for the possible frame since she could still see her picture clearly in her
mind's eye - for that picture waiting for the blue frame had come out of her
soul, her own life, and had bloomed into miraculous being with Miss
Dietrich's help. It was, she knew, the best water color she had painted in
her four years as a high-school art student, and she was glad she had made
something Miss Dietrich liked well enough to permit her to enter in the
contest before she graduated.

It was not a modernistic picture in the sense that you had to look at it a
long time to understand what it meant. It was just a simple scene in the
city park on a spring day with the trees still leaflessly lacy against the
sky, the new grass fresh and green, a flag on a tall pole in the center,
children playing, and an old Negro woman sitting on a bench with her head
turned. A lot for one picture, to be sure, but it was not there in heavy and
final detail like a calendar. Its charm was that everything was light and
airy, happy like spring, with a lot of blue sky, paper-white clouds, and air
showing through. You could tell that the old Negro woman was looking at the
flag, and that the flag was proud in the spring breeze, and that the breeze
helped to make the children's dresses billow as they played.

Miss Dietrich had taught Nancy Lee how to paint spring, people, and a breeze
on what was only a plain white piece of paper from the supply closet. But
Miss Dietrich had not said make it like any other spring-people-breeze ever
seen before. She let it remain Nancy Lee's own. That is how the old Negro
woman happened to be there looking at the flag - for in her mind the flag,
the spring, and the woman formed a kind of triangle holding a dream Nancy
Lee wanted to express. White stars on a blue field, spring, children,
ever-growing life, and an old woman. Would the judges at the Artist Club
like it?

One wet, rainy April afternoon Miss O'Shay, the girls' vice principal, sent
for Nancy Lee to stop by her office as school closed. Pupils without
umbrellas or raincoats were clustered in doorways hoping to make it home
between showers. Outside the skies were gray. Nancy Lee's thoughts were
suddenly gray, too.

She did not think she had done anything wrong, yet that tight little knot
came in her throat just the same as she approached Miss O'Shay's door.
Perhaps she had banged her locker too often and too hard. Perhaps the note
in French she had written to Sallie halfway across the study hall just for
fun had never gotten to Sallie but into Miss O'Shay's hands instead. Or
maybe she was failing in some subject and wouldn't be allowed to graduate.
Chemistry! A pang went through the pit of her stomach.

She knocked on Miss O'Shay's door. That familiarly solid and competent voice
said, "Come in."

Miss O'Shay had a way of making you feel welcome, even if you came to be
expelled.

"Sit down, Nancy Lee Johnson," said Miss O'Shay. "I have something to tell
you." Nancy Lee sat down. "But I must ask you to promise not to tell anyone
yet."

"I won't, Miss O'Shay," Nancy Lee said, wondering what on earth the
principal had to say to her.

"You are about to graduate," Miss O'Shay said. "And we shall miss you. You
have been an excellent student, Nancy, and you will not be without honors on
the senior list, as I am sure you know."

At that point there was a light knock on the door. Miss O'Shay called out,
"Come in," and Miss Dietrich entered. "May I be part of this too?" she
asked, tall and smiling.

"Of course," Miss O'Shay said. "I was just telling Nancy Lee what we thought
of her. But I hadn't gotten around to giving her the news. Perhaps, Miss
Dietrich, you'd like to tell her yourself."

Miss Dietrich was always direct. "Nancy Lee," she said, "your picture has
won the Artist Club scholarship."

The slender brown girl's eyes widened, her heart jumped, then her throat
tightened again. She tried to smile, but instead tears came to her eyes.

"Dear Nancy Lee," Miss O'Shay said, "we are so happy for you." The elderly
white woman took her hand and shook it warmly while Miss Dietrich beamed
with pride. Nancy Lee must have danced all the way home. She never
remembered quite how she got there through the rain. She hoped she had been
dignified. But certainly, she hadn't stopped to tell anybody her secret on
the way. Raindrops, smiles, and tears mingled on her brown cheeks. She hoped
her mother hadn't yet gotten home and that the house was empty. She wanted
to have time to calm down and look natural before she had to see anyone. She
didn't want to be bursting with excitement - having a secret to contain.

Miss O'Shay's calling her to the office had been in the nature of a
preparation and a warning. The kind, elderly vice-principal said she did not
believe in catching young ladies unawares, even with honors, so she wished
her to know about the coming award. In making acceptance speeches she wanted
her to be calm, prepared, not nervous, overcome, and frightened. So Nancy
Lee was asked to think what she would say when the scholarship was conferred
upon her a few days hence, both at the Friday morning high-school assembly
hour when the announcement would be made, and at the evening banquet of the
Artist Club. Nancy Lee promised the vice-principal to think calmly about
what she would say.

Miss Dietrich had then asked for some facts about her parents, her
background, and her life, since such material would probably be desired for
the papers. Nancy Lee had told her how six years before, they had come up
from the Deep South, her father having been successful in achieving a
transfer from one post office to another, a thing he had long sought in
order to give Nancy Lee a chance to go to school in the North. Now, they
lived in a modest Negro neighborhood, went to see the best plays when they
came to town, and had been saving to send Nancy Lee to art school, in case
she were permitted to enter. But the scholarship would help a great deal,
for they were not rich people.

"Now Mother can have a new coat next winter," Nancy Lee thought, "because my
tuition will be covered for the first year. And once in art school, there
are other scholarships I can win."

Dreams began to dance through her head, plans and ambitions, beauties she
would create for herself, her parents, and the Negro people - for Nancy Lee
possessed a deep and reverent race pride. She could see the old woman in her
picture (really her grandmother in the South) lifting her head to the bright
stars on the flag in the distance. A Negro in America! Often hurt,
discriminated against, sometimes lynched - but always there were the stars
on the blue body of the flag. Was there any other flag in the world that had
so many stars? Nancy Lee thought deeply but she could remember none in all
the encyclopedias or geographies she had ever looked into.

"Hitch your wagon to a star," Nancy Lee thought, dancing home in the rain.
"Who were our flag-makers?"

Friday morning came, the morning when the world would know - her high-school
world, the newspaper world, her mother and dad. Dad could not be there at
the assembly to hear the announcement, nor see her prize picture displayed
on the stage, nor listen to Nancy Lee's little speech of acceptance, but
Mother would be able to come, although Mother was much puzzled as to why
Nancy Lee was so insistent she be at school on that particular Friday
morning.

When something is happening, something new and fine, something that will
change your very life, it is hard to go to sleep at night for thinking about
it, and hard to keep your heart from pounding, or a strange little knot of
joy from gathering in your throat. Nancy Lee had taken her bath, brushed her
hair until it glowed, and had gone to bed thinking about the next day, the
big day when, before three thousand students, she would be the one student
honored, her painting the one painting to be acclaimed as the best of the
year from all the art classes of the city. Her short speech of gratitude was
ready. She went over it in her mind, not word for word (because she didn't
want it to sound as if she had learned it by heart) but she let the thoughts
flow simply and sincerely through her consciousness many times.

When the president of the Artist Club presented her with the medal and
scroll of the scholarship award, she would say:

"Judges and members of the Artist Club. I want to thank you for this award
that means so much to me personally and through me to my people, the colored
people of this city who, sometimes, are discouraged and bewildered, thinking
that color and poverty are against them. I accept this award with gratitude
and pride, not for myself alone, but for my race that believes in American
opportunity and American fairness - and bright stars in our flag. I thank
Miss Dietrich and the teachers who made it possible for me to have the
knowledge and training that lie behind this honor you have conferred upon my
painting. When I came here from the South a few years ago, I was not sure
how you would receive me. You received me well. You have given me a chance
and helped me along the road I wanted to follow. I suppose the judges know
that every week here at assembly the students of this school pledge
allegiance to the flag. I shall try to be worthy of that pledge, and of the
help and friendship and understanding of my fellow citizens of whatever race
or creed, and of our American dream of 'Liberty and justice for all!'" That
would be her response before the students in the morning. How proud and
happy the Negro pupils would be, perhaps almost as proud as they were of the
one colored star on the football team. Her mother would probably cry with
happiness. Thus Nancy Lee went to sleep dreaming of a wonderful tomorrow.
The bright sunlight of an April morning woke her. There was breakfast with
her parents - their half-amused and puzzled faces across the table,
wondering what could be this secret that made her eyes so bright. The swift
walk to school; the clock in the tower almost nine; hundreds of pupils
streaming into the long, rambling old building that was the city's largest
high school; the sudden quiet of the homeroom after the bell rang; then the
teacher opening her record book to call the roll. But just before she began,
she looked across the room until her eyes located Nancy Lee.

"Nancy," she said, "Miss O'Shay would like to see you in her office,
please."

Nancy Lee rose and went out while the names were being called and the word
present added its period to each name. Perhaps, Nancy Lee thought, the
reporters from the papers had already come. Maybe they wanted to take her
picture before assembly, which wasn't until ten o'clock. (Last year they had
had the photograph of the winner of the award in the morning papers as soon
as the announcement had been made.)

Nancy Lee knocked at Miss O'Shay's door.

"Come in."

The vice-principal stood at her desk. There was no one else in the room. It
was very quiet.

"Sit down, Nancy Lee," she said. Miss O'Shay did not smile. There was a long
pause. The seconds went by slowly. "I do not know how to tell you what I
have to say," the elderly woman began, her eyes on the papers on her desk.
"I am indignant and ashamed for myself and for this city." Then she lifted
her eyes and looked at Nancy Lee in the neat blue dress sitting there before
her. "You are not to receive the scholarship this morning."

Outside in the hall the electric bells announcing the first period rang,
loud and interminably long. Miss O'Shay remained silent. To the brown girl
there in the chair, the room grew suddenly smaller, smaller, smaller, and
there was no air. She could not speak.

Miss O'Shay said, "When the committee learned that you were colored, they
changed their plans."

Still Nancy Lee said nothing, for there was no air to give breath to her
lungs.

"Here is the letter from the committee, Nancy Lee." Miss O'Shay picked it up
and read the final paragraph to her.

"It seems to us wiser to arbitrarily rotate the award among the various high
schools of the city from now on. And especially in this case since the
student chosen happens to be colored, a circumstance which unfortunately,
had we known, might have prevented this embarrassment. But there have never
been any Negro students in the local art school, and the presence of one
there might create difficulties for all concerned. We have high regard for
the quality for Nancy Lee Johnson's talent, but we do not feel it would be
fair to honor it with the Artist Club award." Miss O'Shay paused. She
paused. She put the letter down.

"Nancy Lee, I am very sorry to have to give you this message."

"But my speech," Nancy Lee said, "was about..." The words stuck in her
throat. "...about America..."

Miss O'Shay had risen, she turned her back and stood looking out the window
at the spring tulips in the school yard.

"I thought, since the award would be made at assembly right after our oath
of allegiance," the words tumbled almost hysterically from Nancy Lee's
throat now, "I would put part of the flag salute in my speech. You know,
Miss O'Shay, that part of 'liberty and justice for all.'"

"I know," said Miss O'Shay slowly facing the room again. "But America is
only what we who believe in it, make it. I am Irish. You may not know, Nancy
Lee, but years ago we were called the dirty Irish, and mobs rioted against
us in the big cities, and we were invited to go back where we came from. But
we didn't go. And we didn't give up, because we believed in the American
dream, and in our power to make that dream come true. Difficulties, yes.
Mountains to climb, yes. Discouragements to face, yes. Democracy to make,
yes. That is it, Nancy Lee! We still have in this world of ours democracy to
make. You and I, Nancy Lee. But the premise and the base are here, the lines
of the Declaration of Independence and the words of Lincoln are here, and
the stars in our flag. Those who deny you this scholarship do not know the
meaning of those stars, but it's up to us to make them know. As a teacher in
the public schools of this city, I myself will go before the school board
and ask them to remove from our system the offer of any prizes or awards
denied to any student because of race or color."

Suddenly Miss O'Shay stopped speaking. Her clear, clear blue eyes looked
into those of the girl before her. The woman's eyes were full of strength
and courage. "Lift up your head, Nancy Lee, and smile at me."

Miss O'Shay stood against the open window with the green lawn and the tulips
beyond, the sunlight tangled in her gray hair, her voice an electric flow of
strength to the hurt spirit of Nancy Lee. The Abolitionists who believed in
freedom when there was slavery must have been like that. The first white
teachers who went into the Deep South to teach the freed slaves must have
been like that. All those who stand against ignorance, narrowness, hate, and
mud on stars must be like that.

Nancy Lee lifted her head and smiled. The bell for assembly rang. She went
through the long hall filled with students toward the auditorium.

"There will be other awards," Nancy Lee thought. "There're schools in other
cities. This won't keep me down. But when I'm a woman, I'll fight to see
that these things don't happen to other girls as this has happened to me.
And men and women like Miss O'Shay will help me."

She took her seat among the seniors. The doors of the auditorium closed. As
the principal came onto the platform, the students rose and turned their
eyes to the flag on the stage.

One hand went to the heart, the other outstretched toward the flag. Three
thousand voices spoke. Among them was the voice of a dark girl whose cheeks
were suddenly wet with tears, "...one nation indivisible, with liberty and
justice for all."

"That is the land we must make," she thought.


Wheatfield by Claude Monet

Return of the Prodigal Son by Rembrandt

The Fall of Icarus by Breugel

Still Life with Coffee Pot by Pissarro

The Birth of Venus by Botticelli

St. Paul's Basilica by Giovanni Paolo Pannini

Cypress Trees with Moon by Vincent Van Gogh

The Empire of Light by Rene Magritte

The Reader by Gerard

Jack-in-Pulpit Abstraction by Georgia O'Keeffe